Six Stoic Ways to Effectively Use Silence via Daily Stoic

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Six Stoic Ways to Effectively Use Silence

Daily Stoic: Dec 2019

In August of 1919, the great psychologist Milton Erickson was diagnosed with polio, a debilitating virus that spread throughout the United States in the early 20th century. Only 17 at the time, Milton overheard his doctor saying he would be dead by the following morning. Hours turned into days, and days turned into weeks. Soon enough, he was paralyzed from the neck down and could only move his eyes. Illness forced Milton into silence, but while it was deeply boring, he would not play the victim. A ferocious curiosity consumed him as he was now able to silently observe life in a new way.

One day, while listening to his seven sisters converse with one another by his bedside, Milton noticed something extraordinary. One sister said to another “That’s a great idea” in a monotone voice while simultaneously smirking. It doesn’t look like she really meant that, Milton thought to himself. He began noticing the facial expressions his sisters made as they spoke, and could tell if they were being genuine or not. He would observe in silence, using the forced quietude as a place of study. Eventually, whether they were nervous, happy, sad, or envious, Milton knew how to read his sisters’ expressions, and by extension those of other people; he had discovered how to decode human expression by utilizing the silence that had once bored him.

This example from The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene illustrates the following truth: It’s not that we’re bad communicators, but we miss a lot in our conversations with others. Either we speak too much about ourselves, or we simply don’t listen enough.

Shut up and listen

A 2014 study that was published in the International Journal of Listening found that the most crucial component to conversational satisfaction is active listening.

Always express gratitude to those who have helped you

When asked about our accomplishments by others, it’s in our best interest to speak of the many people who helped us along the way.

Count to three before you respond

Use that space to reflect on what you’re about to say, whether someone might take it the wrong way or if it’s truly a valuable add to the conversation.  READ MORE >>

Rewordify

Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level 11.6

Lexical Density: 63.6%

Total word count 365

Unique word count 232

25 hard words

Sentence count 17